September 7, 2011

When Your First Child Leaves Home for College

by Sus in Ben, Family News, Life Lessons, Life and Faith Lessons Tags: faith, family, first child leaves home for college, God, life, son leaving home for college, true stories, UF, University of Florida, when your first child leaves home

Two A. M.

Waves of nausea interrupted my sleep. No one told me I would feel sick. Yes, I had been warned about morning sickness long ago, but no one told me I would be physically sick with grief after we took our firstborn to college.

I stared at the ceiling, remembering all the smiling faces of friends who had gone through this before me; no traces of any internal agony that I could recall.

I got up to check my e-mail. My son’s name jumped out at me from my Inbox. Hungrily, I read Ben’s first communication from college. He was just asking for some information,but I focused on the P.S.: “Love you guys.” I had bottled up my tears for days and finally let them flow. I was very grateful for e-mail to help relieve the intense separation I was feeling.

A friend called later in the morning to ask how I was doing. I appreciated her thoughtfulness so much. “I want to do that some day for someone,” I thought.

In the afternoon, I focused on another P.S. in a second e-mail from our son: ”P.S. Please don’t worry about me, I am a child of God.” Ben’s words seemed to be just what I needed. I sat down right away and replied from my heart:

“Your P.S. is a VERY good point. Thank you very much for helping me trust the Lord. This is just another thing I need to learn. I appreciate your simple, but profound reminder. I THINK I have been concerned about others hurting you in some way, not about you as much, since I know your faith is genuine.

”I know I want you to be at the University of Florida. I know it will be a tough environment for a Christian at times. I know it is important, necessary, and inevitable, that you must begin your own life, but I miss having you around (so I love hearing from you). The Lord “said” to me in my Quiet Time that it would be selfish of me to deny you new experiences, new education, and new independence, even if there is potential risk in each of those areas. I know I do NOT want to deny you those things, so I must learn to trust Him with the risks and learn not to be selfish. The Lord also reminded me that we have an eternity together with Him, so this time is short in comparison.

”I love you very much, your Mom”

As I re-read my letter and clicked “send,” I knew the Lord had healed my heart.

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NOTE: Sus wrote this popular post  right after Ben left for college in 2003.  We are re-posting for all those parents who are sending their first child away to college.

We recommend How to Stay Christian in College by J. Budziszewski.  This book was published recently, but we haven’t read it personally: Thriving at College – Alex Chediak.

August 28, 2011

When We Lost Most of Our Roof to a Storm

by Sus in Life Lessons, Life and Faith Lessons Tags: Bible quotes, hurricanes, true stories, world news

Hurricane Charley swept through Florida quickly back in 2004. The storm cut a path at least 20 miles wide and 200 miles long, affecting 6.5 million residents.

In our area after the storm, roads and sidewalks were blocked, cars lined up for gas, grocery shelves were bare for some items. We saw the tops of telephone poles hanging over people’s back yards. Wires dangled where traffic lights had been. Many people had car accidents due to people driving through intersections without stopping.

We are very grateful for God’s protection in keeping us safe. We also know many homes were more severely damaged than ours was.

That week, we remembered the various storms of life in Psalm 107. The first several difficulties in the psalm were brought about by a person’s own rebellion. God used their difficulties to bring them back to Himself. In all the difficulties described in the psalm, the people come out of their troubles with praise to God.

The particular trouble that caught our eye in Psalm 107 was in verses 23 to 31. Going about our normal business, the sailors are caught in a storm brought by God. Verses 26 and 27 describe their first reactions to the storm:

1) their courage melts,
2) they stagger like drunks,
3) they fear for their lives, and
4) they are at their wit’s end.

Like them, we can find ourselves with:

1) no motivation,
2) no direction,
3) no hope, and
4) no wisdom.

Finally, we remember to cry out to God:

“Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven. Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men.” – Psalm 107:28-31(NIV)

Although God allowed the storm in our lives, He also brings us to “our desired haven.” He does not necessarily answer the ”whys” of life. What He does want is to be in the midst of our need … to be with us in troubles and for us to praise Him for His love and goodness even in difficult times.